24 April 2014

19 : Family - Something Blue

The Joy of Surprise!

'When I grow up I'm going to make a machine 
that travels through space and time ...' 
Master 8

This may look like a messy pile of toys to some, but to an 8 year old boy who carefully constructed this collection of toys, this is a time machine!  I woke up this morning, after experiencing yet another night of emotionally draining dramas, to my son proudly announcing that when he grows up he is going to make a machine that is capable of travelling through time and space!  Then he asked me 'what kind of job is that?'.  It was enough to snap me back into reality and remember to smile again, I told him that would make him an engineer and I think he would make a fantastic engineer and maybe even a scientist!

Although life is hard, it is supposed to be, some days or periods of your life are just so much harder than others.  You question yourself, your life, the people who you surround yourself with and ask 'why?'.  Why do we have to put up with cruel people, with bitterness, hatred and all around nastiness?  They say blood is thicker than water!  This is true but blood has the ability to clot and cause blockages and necrosis; where as water flows in and around obstacles in its path!  After all the true measure of a person is how they conduct themselves when faced with crisis, on who they help throughout their life.  As it truly is in the giving that the richness of rewards are enjoyed, not in winning in games of power play and emotional blackmail.

I've done a lot of soul searching over recent times, although I feel that I have come a long way in my journey of trying to understand it all, I guess you never truly get there.  Being human means we are ruled by emotion and our feelings and that is a hard reality to escape.  It is such a difficult thing for me to grasp how the very thing that makes us human, our consciousness, our intelligence, our abilities to plan, create and reason, are the very same things that can systematically destroy us.  Sometimes I envy animals for their simplicity, they truly enjoy each and every day for what it is - never looking back or forward, truly living for today. Give them the basics of food, shelter and companionship and they are truly happy.

My study of psychology raises very interesting questions regarding heritability and environment.  There are no easy answers but many interesting theories.  I don't know if we will ever truly understand what makes us who we are and why we do the things we do.  All I can do is enjoy learning along the way and rejoice in the present, remembering as always that no-one has control over me but me.  That is truly a hefty responsibility, one that is not easy to be in charge of for I am a very complicated person, I am a human being with great expectations and responsibilities.  I can't change the world, I can't stop the bad people being bad, but I can certainly remember to smile and rest easy that the future of this world is in my children's hands.  My children will change the world and I have great hope...

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