20 : When the Darkness Falls - Something Old

The World a Little Darker...

It's so much harder to see when the darkness falls, what was once beautiful, full of colour and life fades into different shades of grey.  The colour is still there, underneath, but can only be seen when the light shines upon it.  Just like this picture where you can see hints of light revealing the colour beneath, if you were able to look closer you would see brightness and warmth deep inside.

We all go through phases of feeling like this, varying shades of grey leading to blackness.  That's the place I'm at right now.  I've been there before, I'll be there again, life goes around and around...  When you are in a black place it's very hard to see the light, to accept any of it.  Sometimes you just want to curl up and forget everything, forget all the hurt, the pain that brought you back to this place of darkness.  There are some things that you just push out of the way, store them in the back and hope they will stay.  But unfortunately in the sea of life we must share our water with others, not everyone wants to swim along with you in the same direction.  The water is full of sharks that take great pleasure in having a little nip every so often.  Trouble is, the more you get nipped, the more you get hurt.  

Scars may heal but they are never the same as before.  Some scars are worth wearing, you can wear some scars from life's many battles with pride. There are some, however, that sadly come from a wound so deep it continues to bleed, never quite healing over.  You can cover it and try and forget it, but underneath you still bleed, slowly but surely sapping the very life from you.

Despite the sharks, despite the darkness that threatens us all the light is always there.  Always waiting for us to return and be bathed in it.  To feel love again, to feel whole and fulfilled.  I remember that feeling so well, thankfully these days I have loving support to show me the way back. The sharks won't beat me, I'll try and search for a more efficient bandage to patch my raw wounds and continue swimming the way I always have - keeping my head just above water...