24 : 15,777 Days - Something New

43.195 Years

I simply cannot fathom that I have been in the world for exactly 15,777 days! That is an incredible 15,777 sunrises and sunsets since I was born. It is so hard to imagine that the young child featured in those black and white photographs of my childhood is actually me. That my body was once that small, mind so full of wonder and so innocent, so much yet to discover. To think of those many years between birth and now is incredible, mind boggling. 

I feel as though I have already lived many lives within this one lifetime as I have packed so much in; yet I feel as though I have so much more to experience. The changes in the world between 1971 and the present day have been monumental, for example the reason I know I have been alive for 15,777 days is because there is an app for that! I wondered aloud to my husband about how many days I have lived through when he pulled out his iPhone 6 and seconds later we had the answer, just like that! Yet during the those days that I was a young toddler pushing an old fashioned toy pram (modern for then I'm sure) a sum like that would have had to be worked out manually. Still possible, just more time consuming and would either have to be done on a calculator or even pen and paper.

I have enjoyed watching the jelly bean analogy by Ze Frank where he uses the average life of approximately 28,385 days to visually represent a lifetime using a jelly bean for each year of life.  It is an interesting watch, he estimates we spend 8,477 days sleeping, 3,202 days working and even 2,676 days watching TV. Obviously this would be different for each of us, but the point is that once you take out all the mundane and necessary parts of life there isn't a whole lot of time left for basically doing whatever you want. It is a simple and easy to understand visual reminder to live life for the moment, to remember to enjoy each and every day and most of all to not waste it worrying and stressing about things out of your control.

Today I realised, like it or not, good or bad, that I have already used up 15,777 days from this lifetime and I don't get any back. Instead I have to look back and accept it all, which I do and I am very thankful for so many of the wonderful experiences and achievements I have had already. I chose a long time ago to not live my life with regrets, but I do struggle at times with the enormity of it all. Of understanding how much time has passed and all the things that have happened. It's why I love photographs so much; capturing a moment in time that becomes a memory the instant the trigger is clicked, already a part of the past. I enjoy looking back over my life using photographic reminders of the many fond memories and wonderful moments. Today was special because I chose to make the most of it, I was reminded of the many days that I have already accomplished and the memories that I get to carry with me into the future. 

Today I was reminded that I have yet to live the rest of my life, to get as much out of it as I can. To love the ones that are important, not waste a second on those that are not and most of all to treat others with the respect and kindness I expect for myself. To be remembered for the good and not the bad and leave the world a better place than I found it. Simple really!

24 : Behind the Mask - Something Old

Something to Hide Behind

source

Sometimes there is a case that touches me more than the others, as a paramedic we are often involved in people's lives in tragic circumstances and times of stress. I have learnt over the years to provide empathy and support but to keep myself emotionally distant, yet sometimes the pain from others can seep into your psyche. One of the hardest things about my job is seeing how other people live and knowing that there isn't anything I can do about it. 

I had a first hand reminder this week from the bravest little boy I have ever met, he put himself on the line to protect his younger siblings and because of that their lives - I hope - will be much safer. When asked what he wanted to bring with him to hospital he picked one thing - a simple paper mask he had drawn. Watching this child run bravely all the way to the ambulance, roaring with delight and wearing his angry face mask, helped me recognise the difference a mask can make. That paper mask was a representation of what we all subconsciously do; present the face of our choosing to the world. For some it gives confidence and courage to be brave, to fight the demons; for others it provides a safe place to hide. 

A very brave little boy reminded me that I can't change the world, I can't fix everybody, I can't stop bad things from happening to good people. But I can be kind in those few moments that fate allows us to meet, and realise that the kind words and smile I can provide may become a very important memory for that person; affirmation that someone once cared. Although my heart swells with emotion and my mind races with confusion, I can hold on to that memory of that little boy and his paper mask and remember the difference I can make.

23 : Fathers Day - Something Blue

Days of Public Celebration

Little Boy Lost

'Father! Father! Where are you going?

O do not walk so fast.

Speak, father, speak to your little boy,

Or else I shall be lost.'

The night was dark, no father was there;

The child was wet with dew;

The mire was deep, and the child did weep,

And away the vapour flew.

William Blake 1791

Sometimes days of celebration, particularly heavily commercialised days, can hurt more people than it was ever intended to; a reminder of bad decisions, poor choices and bitter emptiness. Although it is wonderful to celebrate the many fathers that actually do go above and beyond for their children and deserve to be praised and recognised; there are far too many that don't deserve that recognition. There are sadly far too many that will remain forever trapped within their own selfish walls of denial. There are sadly far too many children - whether adult or not - that dread this day for it reminds them of what they have lost; no father to share this special day. For some this can be bitter sweet - a special day to remember how wonderful their father truly was in life and a day to honour that memory; for others there are no memories, no special moments to recall.

I too have bitter sweet emotions on days like these, where I am more than happy and proud of my own children to show their love and respect for their fathers. However, I am not entirely sure we really need one single day a year to do that, true love doesn't require a 24 hour window; love is shown in how you treat each other and by actions that speak louder than words. It can be a difficult day for broken families, with children used as pawns in a constant state of war, for others it's just too difficult to organise. It can be hurtful for those that never knew their father, that didn't get the chance. A reminder of the hollow space beside them; never to be filled. For me, it is a reminder that I don't have anyone to call father, that in truth perhaps I never really did.

In spite of my own mixed emotions, to my husband and father of my two youngest boys, step-father to my four older children, to you and the other fathers out there that do dedicate their very existence to their children - I celebrate this day. For you this day is truly a day of celebration and I am very thankful that I have such a wonderful role model in the lives of my children ...

One of the good guys!

23 : Bees - Something Borrowed

Doing my bit for the Bees

The men of experiment are like the ant; they only collect and use. 

But the bee... gathers its materials from the flowers of the garden 

and of the field, but transforms and digests it by a power of its own.

Leonardo da Vinci

With Spring only a matter of a few days away in the Southern Hemisphere, I feel as if I am doing my bit for the bees. The blossoms in our garden are blooming, welcoming swarms of bees collecting their pollen. We have spent the past few days preparing our garden for Spring; trimming back old growth making way for new.  Planting new flowers, including flowering ground covers, punnets, bulbs and flowering shrubs.

I'm reminded when hearing the buzzing of bees how important they are for us all. Bees are responsible for pollinating approximately 70 of the 100 crop species that feed 90% of the world population. It doesn't stop there, if we lose the plants that bees pollinate we also lose the animals that feed on those plants and interrupt the well oiled food chain; which would be catastrophic for the world as we know it. 

bbc.com-what-if-bees-went-extinct

23 : Bengal Cats - Something New

Éowyn

Adelhills Bengal Cats

I've recently discovered Bengal Cats; a breed of cats that are a hybrid between a domestic cat and the Asian Leopard Cat (Felis Bengalensis). These cats were first bred in the early 1960's but not attempted seriously until the late 1970's; with the first Bengal Cat registered in the International Cat Association in 1983. The Asian Leopard Cat is a jungle cat that lives in the forests of Southern Asia, India, China, Korea, Taiwan, Philippines, Borneo, Java, Bali and Sumatra.

Asian Leopard Cat

Domestic Bengal Cats; named from the scientific name (Felis Bengalensis), are those that are at least four generations or more from their wild ancestors. Unlike many other domestic cats Bengal Cats are very energetic, playful and intelligent. They behave more like a dog than a typical cat and become very attached to their owners; they are extremely social and love being a part of the family, particularly with children. The breed also tend to like water and can be found jumping into any unattended water in the house, on the up side this makes bathing them easier. 

The thing that most attracted me to this breed is it's reputation for being hypo-allergenic. Although no cat is truly hypo-allergenic this one comes pretty close. Instead of the typical cat fur, Bengals have a pelt that is very short and thick, this means there is minimal hair loss and the pelt feels soft as mink. Some Bengals even have a glitter coat, this is unique to the breed and makes them appear to be sprinkled with gold. Not everyone with cat allergies find they don't react to Bengal Cats, however, I have to say I am one of the lucky ones!

I began to read up on allergic reactions to cats and was surprised to find that for some reason it is thought that the lighter the cat's coat the lesser the allergens. In addition, female cats that are desexed seem to cause less allergic reactions than male cats, particularly if they still entire. Armed with this knowledge I began to research this amazing breed of cats and went to visit a local breeder. I was astounded that for the first time in over 20 years I was able to hold a cat without itching, wheezing and suffering from a runny nose. That visit I held a huge range of Bengal's from kittens to females and entire males.

I was hooked; to have a little leopard running around our house was too tempting an opportunity to let pass. I put my name on the waiting list and kept my fingers crossed that I would be able to take home a Bengal Cat that was not only hypo-allergenic, but as a bonus also a desexed snow female. There were no guarantee's that a female snow would be born, but I felt confident it would happen.

Éowyn - so named from Lord of the Rings - was born 26 July along with her two sisters and one brother. Her father is a seal lynx point snow Bengal with blue eyes, just as she and one of her sisters are. When she turns 12 weeks we will welcome her into our home where she will become a part of the family, can't wait! 

23 : Sugar is Bad - Something Old

Trying to Keep My Teeth

Unbelievably three weeks to the day after my first tooth was removed, due to decay and breakage, I broke another! At least with the first tooth I knew that it was inevitable; after all a huge chunk had broken off over 12 months before I suffered the pain of infection and decay of one of the remaining nerves. It took me a long time to come to terms with that loss. I was unprepared to lose another tooth, especially in such a spectacular fashion!

Truth be known I was eating a lolly at a child's birthday party when it happened. Yes, yes I know sugar decays teeth. However, it shouldn't really break off two/thirds of the tooth after one bite of a soft lolly!  A lolly that I quickly realised wasn't that soft after all; it suddenly was very crunchy with chunks of tooth I had spent a life time carefully growing! Gone, in an instant. The shard remains looked grim, both from what I could see in the mirror and what I could feel with my tongue. The darkened base looked suspiciously decayed and I knew its fate was sealed, I would lose this one too.

As all things like this seem to happen on a Friday night, I had to wait until Monday morning before the inevitable call to the dentist. I was kindly squeezed in that day where x rays revealed what I already knew; the tooth was gone. I was surprised that I wasn't in pain, but recalled I had recently been in pain there when my other tooth had been infected. I had put it down to referred pain and thought nothing more of it. The dentist told me that the nerve was actually exposed and was atrophied! I couldn't believe it, another one. Back to the periodontist I went. 

Surprised to see me, my periodontist was very kind and not at all condescending. He remembered me very well as my last tooth extraction was particularly difficult. Thankfully this time the tooth came out in a mere 5 minute extraction, beating the last by 40 minutes! Attached to the tooth, in one piece this time, was an abscess sac; the periodontist surmised that I actually must have a high pain tolerance. I had a really positive discussion with the periodontist and listened very carefully to his advice as to how to approach the care of my teeth from now on. After the last visit he had recommended I book in with my dentist for a full check up and organise all the fillings that were already needed for some small cavities. I now was armed with a plan of attack which was going to be another 4 visits to my dentist with two fillings booked for each visit. I had also already endured the dentist cleaning my teeth, not fun but necessary. He stressed the importance of attending to the remaining teeth first, before I spent hard earned money on new implants.

I will probably get the first implant now on this last tooth lost, tooth 44, as it is more visible than my molar. However, after losing that molar I realised how much help it had been with chewing and will definitely be going ahead with that implant too. Unfortunately none of these procedures come cheap, despite having private health insurance, and will have to be done in stages.

I have been recommended a strong flouride toothpaste from the pharmacy; also to ensure I drink more fluoridated water (not bottled) and to rinse my mouth after fizzy drinks and coffee. I learned that sugar-free carbonated drinks and fruit juice are still just as destructive to teeth as they are acidic, and the worse possible way of drinking them is sipping them slowly over a long period of time. Bingo! That's me in a nutshell. Even worse I skip brushing my teeth regularly due to shift work and fatigue, adding to the problem. I am also going to go back to chewing sugar-free gum, particularly at work after eating, which helps significantly increase saliva to reduce cavities. I may even have a go at flossing, although I can't commit to that one!

I have a long and expensive road ahead, but I am determined to not lose any more teeth than I have to. I just have to take this teeth thing seriously; when they start disappearing you suddenly realise that you lost your chance when you had it, and you don't get another.

22 : Paramedic Assaults - Something Blue

Most Trusted Profession in Jeopardy

from NSW Ambulance Anti-Violence to Paramedic Program

The high incidence of assaults on paramedics has caused the NSW Ambulance Service to launch an anti-violence campaign using posters designed to show the human side to paramedics. Their campaign reminds offenders what constitutes assault : 

Assault is legally defined as any contact or threat 

of contact by a person to another, which instils 

immediate fear of violence. The threat must be 

made in such a way that the person making the 

threat has the ability to carry it out at the time it 

was made. For example, if a patient or bystander 

threatens to punch a paramedic, which causes 

fear in the paramedic, and the person who made 

the threat can physically carry it out, that would 

constitute an assault.

A recent 12 month jail sentence given to a 36 year old woman who assaulted a male paramedic in NSW, is evidence that there is zero tolerance to assaults on paramedics. It is the beginning of a long process to ensure that prosecutions to crimes against paramedics are being taken seriously.   zero-tolerance

South Australia has recently followed the lead of NSW Ambulance Service in commencing a new awareness campaign to prevent violence against paramedics. The statistics of assaults against SA Ambulance Service paramedics has nearly doubled in the short space of two years. Despite legislation changes in 2009, which increased the assault charge against paramedics to the charge of aggravated assault, to date there have been a very disappointing number of cases that have led to prosecution.  increase-in-assaults-campaign

In November last year I was assaulted by a female patient whilst at work, the first time I have been physically assaulted in the 15 years I have worked as a paramedic. This aggravated assault case is still slowly working its way through the court system and will hopefully end with a significant sentence that reflects the serious nature of the offence. In the meantime I have had to recover from the physical and psychological injuries this vicious and unprovoked attack has caused me. The flow on effects have been numerous: to my family, my colleagues, my friends and my trust in others and confidence in returning to working as a paramedic. 

Violence at work is an issue that has been tolerated in the past, and sometimes put down to just part of the job, will be no more. The zero tolerance policy on assault to paramedics within Australia is spreading and the violence will no longer be tolerated. In my case I was unfortunately physically assaulted; a king hit to the head which caused concussion, bruising and worst of all cervical neck injuries, nerve damage and pain which I have had to learn to deal with. I was also psychologically assaulted in the same incident, but also in many others over the years. We have tolerated being verbally abused and frequently spat on as if it was an expected part of the job. However, any threats verbal or otherwise toward us will no longer be tolerated. It shouldn't have to be only the physical assaults that take the focus, no level of abuse should be tolerated.

Paramedics are highly trained professionals that pride themselves in giving their all to help those in need and care for their patients. The more times we are stopped from doing our job by threats of violence and abuse the less likely we will be in the future to help. In order for us to continue to do our important work, being the difference between life and death for so many people, we need respect and safety to do our work. No-one deserves to be injured at work.